Hello everyone and welcome back to my blog after an extremely quick 3 months! I literally cannot believe that we are now less than two months away from CHRISTMAS!!! Some of you are probably thinking did she really just mention the "C" word In the first week of November but if time continues to pass us by as quick as the rest of this year did then before you know it Christmas will be upon us! I'll let you all get over halloween first and then i'll be back to talk about Christmas...Anyway lets get straight in to this weeks blog post ...
So whats my reason for the lack of content??
Well let me tell you..my advice to you is that you go and turn on the kettle, grab the biscuits and get yourself comfortable on the couch because this may take me quiet a while- we all know I can very easily get side tracked and this conversation could end up anywhere, but I will give it my best shot to keep as straight and to the point as possible!
So now that you have you're cuppa and biscuits ready and your nice and snug let me continue begin to fill you in on the life of Caoimhe Hickey- I bet your all so excited!! Well anyway, my last post on this blog was July 30th 2017 and I would honestly like to think I am quite a different person now and I'm in quite a different place both mentally and physically. ( It may have taken the guts of 20 years but I can assure you this was worth the wait).
I've touched on the topic of always trying to fit in before, and as ye know this was something that I wasted a massive chunk of my life doing- but yes Ive only realised that now thankfully I've copped it before it was too late and I wasted another 20 years of my life. It's never ever to late for change and I've copped that in so many different situations. If something doesn't make you happy anymore- let go of it! Yes of course it will hurt you, Yes there will be tears and Yes it wont be easy- I'm definitely not saying it will be one bit easy.. but ask yourself this one question... WILL IT BE WORTH IT??.. I'm 99.99% sure that the answer to that question will be YES!!
This year in general I have found that I, as a person have changed in so many ways. I would like to think that they've all been positive changes. Loosing a friend at a young age will Make you re evaluate your whole life on so many different aspects. I put my hand up and admit that perviously to the 16th February I would have taken every single little thing for granted, I put myself into situations that I didn't want to be in just so that I would be accepted and I would "fit in". I would have whinged and whined about the smallest little things, I constantly found imperfections in my appearance and in my life in general- but what was I forgetting? I was forgetting how lucky I was to be alive..
A lot has happened in my private life over the years, and I think I've taken alot of it onboard myself, but that's just me I take everyones problems on board and try to be the glue that keeps everything and everyone together which looking back now has made me the person I am today. I would consider myself the softest out of my entire family, well there's only 5 of us so I'm not up against a whole pile of people-Personally I think it should be the total opposite, I should be as tough as nails considering I was the youngest in my family and my brother and sister used to carry me around thinking I was a ragg doll,I have photographic evidence hahah I'm sure they were just trying to smother me with affection because I was their baby sister( well at least that's the excuse we'll use for now)!! Bearing that in mind I should probably be a lot more phsyically and mentally stronger considering I'm sure I got a few wallops of doors and the occasional drop here and there but it did me no harm at all But I'm not, I'm still quiet soft.
My brother, sister and I are literally all chalk and cheese, we're all so different it actually makes me laugh.My sister Leanne has just graduated with her 3rd degree at the age of 25 if thats not Goals I don't know what is- she is the most driven person I know and I will forever look up to her for that (or look down on her because I am the taller sister) Then there's Keelan the one who will kill me If he finds out I've mentioned him in a blog post but Keelan is probably the most talented out of the 3 of us- as much as it kills me to say that haha.. Keelan is the type that could put his hand to anything and it would be like as If he was doing it his whole life, he is bursting with talent but drastically suffers with middle child syndrome- so he says anyway!! Then there's me and well what is there to say?.. I always find it hard to describe myself- I think everyone does.
Before I hit 20 I felt completely and utterly useless, that was something that I had just got into my head myself. I just seen everything In such a negative way, I saw no light at the end of the tunnel. I was brought up the exact same as leanne and Keelan, treated the exact same, I even put my hand up and say I got away with a lot more because after all I was the baby of the house- I still use that trump card, I was loved beyond words by everyone in my family !! Bearing all this in mind I still saw everything so negatively- for example.. I honestly thought that there was no point in doing my Leaving Cert because realistically I didn't have a talent that I could get somewhere in life with and I always said i'll never get a degree, sure you have to know what you want to study to be able to get a degree to begin with. You then need to have some sort of brains for a degree too- I like to blame my hair colour and say "Oh sure I'm blonde don't mind me" no lads realistically I'm a ginger at heart and I like to disguise my lack of knowledge by blaming my hair colour.. but are you ready for me to fill you in on a little secret??
YOU DON'T NEED TO BE BRAINY TO BE HAPPY OR SUCCESSFUL !!!!!
imagine that!! If only I had known that for the 13 years I spent in school they would have been the best years of my life like they should have been.. If I'm honest it feels like my life really only began to take shape this year..You know the part when I said I possessed no talent or brains? well I was wrong on that too- Clearly I have some sort of talent or I wouldnt have gotten some of the opportunities that I have gotten this year- been a finalist in the biggest Irish Blog Awards with my Blog just a year old is quite a big deal to me, although it might not be to you..I'm Still working on the brains part, but that's overrated anyway!!!
The minute I accepted that I possessed a talent and that I was put on earth for purpose- whatever that may be,was the minute that my life changed for good. August this year is when it began.. Hold tight now this is gonna sound strange to some of you, to others it may not but bear with me and trust me on this one. I had been going to the fabulous Michelle from Anú way Living working on some breathing strategies and vision boards for about two years because I was suffering with negative thoughts and I was getting quite alot of panic attacks. Michelle is going to know this herself without reading it that for the first year and a bit I never fully committed, I committed when it suited me and yet still expected a miraculous outcome.
This year, August to be exact is when I started to take this serious.. Michelle told me that if you really really want something to happen that you need to keep visualise it happening to you and watch it all unfold before you. I had been unemployed for 8 months, so obviously my first thing I had on my list was to get a job. I got a magnetic notebook from Penneys and a pen, I sat down on the 8th of august 2017 and I wrote down " I will get a job that I will be happy in"- and I finished it off with "I will" literally thats all I wrote on the sheet of paper and dated it on the top.. on the 24th of August I had my first day of my new job that I am sooooo unbelievably happy in.
but thats not all..
I have two more examples of how I put my vision board to use.. I can promise you that all of this information is 100% the truth as my family were wondering why our fridge is now converted into one big sticky note collection.. You all remember me going on about meeting Niall Horan, yes? So when I heard that Niall Horan was coming to Ireland and I had tried for tickets and I couldnt get them, I was like a dog - literally!! I decided to write on my piece of paper once again " I will meet Niall Horan when he is in Ireland- I will " 24 hrs later Eoghan McDermott rang me with the news that I was going to meet him.
My last and final example and to be honest this is the whole reason that I'm writing this post- If any of you follow me on snapchat you would have known that my relationship with driving was a bit of a love/hate relationship.. I HATED everything to do with it, no joke I honestly would of rathered crawl to get to where I needed too.. I work in Clonmel so obviously had to use the Cahir- Clonmel road every day to get to work.. On that road Kertons Garage showcase their cars.. So I had seen the car I had always wanted, it must have been there for more than two months but I was like - sure i'll never be able to afford it or drive it for that matter..
Before even looking at it, I got my paper and pen out again.. I put on the notebook at the end of September "That White Fiat 500 will be mine by October the 15th.. Bearing in mind I actually couldn't get the hang of the gearstick or gears in a car. (Ask John Browne my driving instructor, that poor man had whiplash every time I went on a lesson).. I finally decided to go and look at the car a week later, when I looked inside it.. it was AUTOMATIC... it was made for me. I officially bought the car on October the 14th with one day to spare on my notice on the fridge..
Believe me when I say this everyone, if you asked me two years ago to visualise what I wanted in life I would have thought you were mad but why is that? I was in a negative place, surrounded with negative people. I took myself away from of all of those toxic situations and people and started to re evaluate my whole life before it was too late here's where you can see how changing your mindset,attitude and outlook on life can pay off...
I Have the most amazing family-
Does that require brains?.. Absolutely not!
I have a roof over my head and a bed to sleep in.
Does that require brains?- Absolutely not!
I have a boyfriend who makes me extremely happy( although he has he's moments sometime.s)
Does that require brains? Absolutely not!
I have a job that I'm extremely happy in-
Does that require brains?- Absolutely not!
I am so happy within myself after all theses years.
Does that require brains? Absolutely not!
I am so happy within myself after all theses years.
Does that require brains? Absolutely not!
I have a beautiful car that I can finally call my own-
Does that require brains?- absolutely not because its automatic...( ahahah)
I have money in my bank account which allows me to treat myself to whatever I want.
Does that require brains?- Absolutely not. ( just remember your pin code)..
There you have it lads, I've been focusing on changing my life for the better over the past 3 months.. It does take time and it's not easy, but its worth every single minute I am so much happier in myself both mentally and physically. Yes there still are days when all I want to do is cry but just like you, I'm not invincible I'm a 20 year old girl trying to grab life with open arms and be as successful as I can be whilst also being happy!
Thanks so much for reading this weeks blog post I do hope you enjoyed it, I promise from now on i'll be as active as ever on my social media. Dreams don't work unless you do and I think I'm finally ready to take this serious...A massive shoutout to Anú way Living for getting me back on track with my life and showing me that life has so much to offer when you take yourself away from negativity, Michelle will be home from America for a workshop in November and I honestly can't recommend her enough she is a miracle worker.
Thats all for now.
Until Next Time..
Much Love,
Caoimhe xx
