Everything I am, You helped me to be..

For quite sometime I have tried to figure out how I could possibly thank my mother for everything she has done and sacrificed for us over the past twenty years in order to get me and my siblings to where we are today. I am so fortunate and blessed to have two of the most loving caring and supportive parents in the world that would literally go to the ends of the earth to make sure we had everything we needed and more, no matter what they always did whatever it took to make sure that we were as happy and healthy as could be. My point is they have sacrificed so much for the three of us and I think its time I sacrifice a bit of my time to sit down and thank my mother for the day thats in it heres an open letter to my beautiful mother who's pictured below alongside me.. 

To the backbone of the Hickey household,

Mid May 1996 you would of realised that you were going to be a Mother for the 3rd time,that may  or may not have of been a bit of a surprise to you but hey the best things are always a surprise and well, 3 is a magic number! Thursday 26th of February 1997 you gave birth to me, I literally scarred you for life straight away after coming out of the womb after you had a C-section. Besides the scar, which of course you always remind me of the things you done for me, you told me that when you laid eyes on me for the very first time that you fell in love all over again (of course after you fell in love with Dad, leanne and Keelan) but you really did keep the best until last didn't you? Well the truth is, from the first day that I could see, I thought you were the most beautiful woman ever both inside and outside, 20 years later my love for you has grown stronger and stronger for you and it will continue to grow stronger each day of my life.

Some of you who may personally know both me and my mother will understand how alike we are, literally in every single way right down to our fabulous square knees. On a serious note Square knees or no square knees I'm so privileged to be just like you.You have thought me how to love others and to love myself, you have thought me how to be honest,kind, caring and confident, you've thought me to respect myself, my belongings and others,you've thought me to be grateful for everyone and everything, you've thought me to do what makes me happy and have supported me wether you agreed or disagreed with what I done.Most of all you have passed your amazing personality on to me which is something that no amounts of money could ever buy.

You're now probably thinking "When are you going to tell everyone that we fight like cats and dogs on a daily basis" well don't worry, because I'm getting to that part now. You and me both know the YOU can generally hear us before you can see us together because 9 times out of 10 we are roaring at each other, but would we really be mother and daughter if we didn't disagree on a daily basis? I think the answer is no. Something which is so typical of you is that through our fighting ways you still managed to teach me a life lesson,because as a result of our daily disagreements which normally consist of the two of us shouting at each other, one of us taking flight To the next empty room until we realise that we need to tell each other some goss and instantly its like nothing ever even happened between us! So to add to the list of things you have thought me, you have thought me how to forgive and forget which is such a valuable life lesson.

Mam, You have sacrificed so much for us over the years, you have pumped so much time and money into each and every one of us which has resulted in you and dad having to sacrifice quite a lot in order for each of us to be successful, happy and healthy which was quite a hard task considering the amount of time and money that you spent on me between doctor visits, hospital stays to endless nights awake all night with me at home you always got up and got on with it, sometimes you wouldn't of had a wink to sleep but you still got up and got on with it you worked all day long and put me first no matter what, you never ever thought twice about it. You would give away your last Penney for us.You have pushed and praised us over all of the years and for that we will be forever indebted to you.

 You and Dad have raised the three of us all the same but we have all grown to be so different.We have Leanne the Brainy Successful Child, Keelan the extremely talented child and then there's me and well I suppose that just leaves me to take the title of the Favourite Child but behind it all we all have one thing in common, we have unconditional love for you which will last forever. We may not show it all of the time especially through our teenage years when we thought we were cool but its as we get older we really realise how lucky and fortunate we are to be honoured to call you our Mother.

I could stay here writing forever as there's so much to say, but I just want you to know that you simply are one of a kind Mam and every single thing I do, I do it for you. I want to be the best that I can be and be as successful as possible so that someday I can repay you properly by getting you all of the things that you have always wanted and all of the places that you have wanted to go but instead you gave it all up for us. You have been there through the ups, downs, laughs, tears and tantrums (Don't worry there will be plenty more tears and tantrums to follow) but at the end of the day you still love us all the same. The older I Grow the more I realise that you are the best friend anyone could ever have. The saying is really true " First my mother and forever my friend" Thank you for being my biggest Critic but yet my biggest fan I am truly blessed to have you in my life. I will never be able to find the words to describe how much I love you Mam just please don't ever change, You light up every single day of our lives with your sense of humour,personality,rants and just your general presence.

Happy Mothers Day Mam- Your simply the best..x

Also before I go, I just want to acknowledge all of you who unfortunately may not have your mothers around to share this special day with, but I have no doubt that they are watching over all of your with sheer and utter pride. My thoughts are with you all today but remember those we love don't go away they walk beside us every day, unseen, unheard but always near, still loved,still missed and very dear. Thanks for taking the time out to read my post again this week. I will have a new post every Sunday and I have some exciting news to share with you real soon.
Until next Time.
Much Love,
Caoimhe x

Don't Lose yourself in fear..

You may or may not have noticed that it has been 3 weeks since my last blog post. I'm not going to make up an excuse or  a reason for my lack of posts because that's just not what I'm about, from the very first day that I set up my blog I said that I would be nothing but honest with all of my readers be it regards the use of products/services, or simply just letting you in on my day to day life which is what I'm just about to do.

If I had one euro for every time someone said to me "you're such a confident young girl, I'd do anything to have your confidence" I would be a pretty rich woman by now. I Honestly don't know where people get the idea of me being an extremely strong,confident girl from because in fact, I am the complete opposite!! Right up to 5th year in school I used to take part in all the school musicals playing leading roles in 3rd year 4th year and 5th year with not one ounce of bother, the crowds never bothered me, the whole standing up and singing in front of 300 odd people literally didn't phase me one single bit.A short while after the school musical of 5th year, which was 2014 it was like a switch just went off inside my head and all of a sudden i was hit with the worse case of anxiety.

For a while I actually didn't know what was going on. Every time I used to get a panic attack I fully blown thought that I wasn't going to make it out alive. Sounds crazy right? It literally is the most bizarre feeling in the world. I have to admit though,from 5th year right through to the end of 6th year was possibly the worst period of time in my whole life. The palpitations,shortness of breath,chest pains etc were at their all time highest, but of course the stress and pressure of the big L.C played a vital role in those episode too.

The reason I think I get panic attacks so frequent is because I'm the worlds biggest worrier. I literally worry about everyone and everything and realistically speaking it gets me absolutely nowhere, only outside in the fresh air with my hands above my head gasping for some air not a pretty image,right? Thankfully I've managed to find ways to keep my anxiety somewhat at bay, of course they're times when you simply cannot do anything to avoid getting an attack but majority of the time I just get a bit of fresh air (if possible), Take a deep breathe, a drop or 2 of rescue remedy and I have

finally learned how to talk myself out of getting a fully blown panic attack.

By now you're probably wondering what is the point of this blog post? Realistically I think its pretty self explanatory. Quite a lot has happen and changed in the past month, including loosing one of of my close childhood friends which literally shattered my heart into a thousand pieces as heaven has gained the most beautiful angel of all. I really do think the past 4 weeks has put life into perspective for me though.I can either stay in my comfort zone and leave my anxiety define me and let it stop me from achieving all of the things I want to achieve or I get up and get on with life and fight through the anxiety and continue to be successful. I've basically took the past month off from writing full blog posts because my head  literally just wasnt in and im not one for doing something for the sake of it. I either give it my all or I don't do it all and I can promise each and every one of you that this time I'm back with a bang. I'm extremely fortunate to have gotten some amazing opportunities so early in my career and  at such a young age and for quite a while I've been taking it all for granted, but that stops right here,because what if everything I have ever wanted is on the other side of fear?

This time 3 weeks, my blog will be turning one year old, which I literally cannot comprehend, time is going by way to fast and I think thats one of the Main reasons that I'm going to push myself even more and fight through the fear that I live with on a daily basis. As you can imagine there has been plenty of ups and downs over the past year but thankfully, theres been a lot more ups than downs and I'm not ready to give up something that I'm so passionate about just because I've been feeling down with the past month. I have so much to look forward to and more importantly I have so much to be grateful for since starting my blog in April 2016. I have so much exciting things in the pipeline and I can't wait to take each and everyone of you on the journey with me including my biggest meeting to date next Saturday!!

Lastly, I want to say a massive thanks to each and everyone of you who take time out of your day to read my blog posts and for all of your love and support. It means the absolute world to me and I will be forever grateful for all of the support that is shown to me on a daily basis. My motto from here on in is "Get up, Dress up, show up and most of all Never Give up". On that note, thats all for now. I hope you all have a great week. 

Until next time. 

Much Love,

Caoimhe x